Wendy reciting

DRIVING ME CRAZY

By Wendy Brown-Barry

The driver up ahead of me is goin' fast and slow

It's messing with the traffic, and breakin' up the flow

It feels like an accordion, and creates a lot of stress

To be stuck inside of one of those is downright dangerous.

But look! Ahead's a turnout, maybe I can pass

But he flies by me oblivious. What a royal horse's ass!

So I blink my lights a couple of times, just to let him know I'm there

But now he's on his cell phone, and just doesn't seem to care.

My frustration level's rising. I'm breathin' in real deep

And blowing out the anger. My Gosh, this guy's a creep!

So I grit my teeth and bear it, and I accept my fate

But if I can't pass him pretty soon, I'm going to be late.

I call 'em brain-dead drivers. Theyre out there everywhere

And if you get caught between 'em, they can give you quite a scare

Like the ones that slow way down goin' round the curves

Then speed up on the straight-a-ways, and jangle all your nerves.

You're on a narrow two-lane road. There's four lanes up ahead

Then it's "passing lane hysteria", and their right foot turns to lead.

They act like it's a freeway, and now they're going fast

So no one can get by 'em, and those passing lanes don't last.

You risk a fine and ticket if you speed up to get by

So you buck up, grin and bear it, and you just don't even try

Have you seen that rolling roadblock, where they all drive side by side?

There's no way to get out in front unless you learn to fly.

You're still stuck there behind 'em when the road becomes two lanes

And now they're going slow again. Do they even have a brain?

I've seen all kinds of crazy things, like people reading books

Or young girls applying make-up, and workin' on their looks.

Sure makes me want to stay at home, and never leave the ranch

Than to get out on the highway, and do their crazy dance

So when you get behind the wheel, and put your car in drive

Wake up and pay attention, and you just might stay alive!

March 23, 2009